To dance without God...

Due to my latest sprained ankle, I was forced to observe Modern IV today at Hosanna Dance. To settle the squirms and fidgets building up inside me, I pulled out a pencil and notebook and scribbled down the thoughts I received from observing. Here is a small excerpt of my thoughts:

To dance without God would be wasted movement. Meaningless forms that would take up time and space given for the worship of our Creator. A body made to bring praise to the Perfect One, rather, praising an imperfect selfish beast. Precious music meant to rain notes and rests of love onto the audience, thrashed onto the floor to make way for a monster. Beauty, gifted for His glorification turned inside out for the self-glory and pride of an animal. Stressed breathing, precise lines and shapes, momentary defiance of gravity, unchained drops of sweat, muscular control, natural beauty, unlimited flexibility, everlasting movement, yet the heart lies still...

To dance without God is an artist's suicide.

It's all good?

So. I feel like when I say "it's all good" I'm lying. Things aren't the best but God will take care of it. He's yet to prove to be unfaithful. I basically just say it cause I don't want to believe things are bad and saying it's all good makes me feel better. I don't really remember when things were last all good. So maybe they're always good and I'm not content with good.

*sigh* Oh life. You trouble me so.:/

My thoughts...run...

I find it kind of interesting that last year I went to a school with Kindergarteners and this year I attend school with students who discuss how much money they wasted over the summer on booze.

Just a thought I had today. I laughed when it came to mind actually.

A Dare

I want to write. An outlet to the dynamite eager to explode within. Perhaps dancing would be better though. A more physical release. Or possibly simply listen to music. A personal favorite nonetheless, however, it would seem I've chosen to write. I could quite possibly be listening to music right now as well; but you'll never know that will you? Muahaha! Now I feel as though I have some power over you, my reader. Probably just sleep deprivation. It happens to the best of us.

Let's talk about God now. He's so freakin' cool. Man. When I grow up I want to be just like him. He's taught me so much this past summer. A lot about beauty, humility, love, fear, and how to be in awe of Him. It's been such a ride. Basically, beauty has been the theme. Not my beauty though, His beauty. It's so much better. It's all because He loves us too. So good. Amazing. Wonderful. *sigh* That is why I want to write, dance, and listen to music. Probably scream too. I feel like using an exclamation point in this paragraph would deprive Him of His epicness. I want to punch something, He's that cool.

There's one lyric in a song I love, that creates such a beautiful picture of His love for us. It says, "Like a lonely lover, waiting by the ocean, I'll never give up on you".

Imagine that. God, The Almighty, standing by the ocean, He's bigger than the ocean but He still stands there waiting for us to re-navigate our direction towards Him. I am kind of giving up on the words because He's too great for them. I am at a loss I guess. It's bittersweet.

I'm tired. I am going to post this at the risk of many errors and probably a hunk of it not making any sense but I am ok with that. For now. I'll fix it later.

To end this blog, I have a challenge. Look at everything, EVERYTHING, in the world, that was made by God Himself, and ask God to reveal to you it's beauty. Everything He's made has beauty beyond us and only He can uncover that to us. So. That's all. Do it. I dare you.

KJ signing out.

Peace. Loves. Ya know.

Wednesday Night

I am sort of not surprised but this, cause naturally, it would happen to me. Yesterday, I got my license, drove three friends to and from Cold Stone for youth group, and got grounded. All in the same day. Yes. Only me. Ha. Not funny life. But anyways, the reason for the groundation was because I was late picking up my mom, Kyle and Kelcie. The church was closed by the time I got there. Yeah, lame. So in the words of Morganne Roy (I'm pretty sure I'm spelling her first name wrong. Sorry.), that was a boss (hehe, dunno how to spell that either.) loss.

The war within me

Argh. I hate being sick. Boring, boring, boring, and there goes my nose again. Eewww....disgusting.

Anyways, since I have the uneventful opportunity to stay home from school, completely and utterly bored with a cold, I thought I'd share with you some random facts and one irony involving colds.

1. The common cold is a viral disease which infects the lining within your nose. It typically only takes about 1 week to recover, therefore making it a pretty minor condition. The common cold is easily spread through germs that an already infected person has breathed into the air.
2. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib.
   If you try to suppress a sneeze,
   you can rupture a blood vessel
   in your head or neck and die.
   If you keep your eyes open by force,
   they can pop out....(In any event I don't think I shall be attempting the latter)
3. Most sore throats are caused by viruses. Many occur at the beginning of a cold, when runny noses drain down the back of the throat and irritate it.(gross)

4. Look at a cough in three steps.

   • First, you close your throat. It's the same way you hold your breath to swim underwater. Your vocal cords are forced together hard enough to be airtight. Nothing can get in and nothing -- not even air -- can get out.

   • Second, you push. Using the same muscles in your chest that you use to blow out birthday candles, you push against your closed throat. Nothing is coming out, yet, but it will.

   • Finally, you let loose. Once you've built up a little pressure behind those vocal cords, just open them up. Voila! A cough is born.

   That rush of air comes out as fast as 64 miles per hour, sending mucous, particles and droplets zooming out more than 6 feet in front of you. If those droplets contain bacteria or viruses, it means you could infect other folks -- a great reason to cover that cough.(fascinating)

   Now for that random bit o' irony! There is a song by Skillet called, "Fight Inside". Last time I was sick I was listening to it when I realized the lyrics very well could be talking about being sick. So whenever I'm sick now I love to listen to it repeatedly. It provides more amusement then laying on the couch all day. Imagine being sick, there is a fight going on inside your body. This is that fight.

   And it finds me
   The fight inside is coarsing through my veins
   And it's raging
   The fight inside is breaking me again

   It's still the same, pursuing pain
   Isn't worth the lie I've gained
   We both know how it will end
   But I do it again

   And it finds me
   The fight inside is coarsing through my veins
   And it's raging
   The fight inside is hurting me again
   And it finds me
   The war within me pulls me under
   And without you
   The fight inside is breaking me again

   And it finds me
   The war within me pulls me under
   And without you
   The fight inside is breaking me again

   
   

   Those are just the highlights of the song that amuse me. Well thanks for allowing me to prolong my time being bored! Hope you enjoyed that. Unlikely but I still wish it upon you!

   Till next time my few fans.

Aesthetics

Once upon a time, there was a young girl of the age of 11. She saw girls her age carry around purses full of make up, wear the latest in fashion, and always get the guys attention. This however was not what bugged her. The only nuisance that was brought about was the constant tears the young girl witnessed from these other girls. The young girl decided she did not want to be anything like these teary eyed girls. So for three years she never used a brush, facial wash and only wore bland colored clothing from second-hand stores.

High School is upon this young girl, now of the age 15. She decides maybe she did want that attention the giggly girls from middle school got from the guys. Oblivious of where to start, she looks to the world for advise. She now not only brushes her hair, but straightens it, curls it, gels it, sprays it, conditions it, and styles it. After all, this is what girls are supposed to do, isn't it?

The attention never comes. It's too late. The damage has been done. Split ends from hair neglect, zits, blackheads, uneven eyebrows, all from spending three years feeling indifferent towards any kind of outer beauty. Now the young girl throws all the blame on herself for being incapable of beauty.

Today this young girl is of the age of 17, almost 18. She is amidst a war pertaining to beauty. Currently she is fully aware of what beauty is and where true beauty comes from. Jesus loves her, the world just wants to crush her. Showdown, at midnight.

Ok so those last two sentences are from a book but I thought it fit fairly well. You might be wondering where this subject came from. Then again you might not be but you probably are now, because I just brought the subject up. Well since you're wondering now, I was thinking about beauty. What the world says about beauty and what God says about beauty. Wiktionary defines "beauty" as: "The property, quality or state of being 'that which pleases merely by being perceived' (Aquinas); that which is attractive, pleasing, fine or good looking; comeliness."

I decided to google "beauty" and see what I got. I clicked "I'm feeling lucky" and my search led me to beauty.com. This website is about everything you "need" to be beautiful. Lie. Phrases I read on the site include, "The world of beauty online," "Best in beauty 2009," and "Outstanding products you can't live without". Lies.

If God made us all, thus making us beautiful, who gave the world the right to provoke that gift from those it sees unfit to behold it?

*My intent is not to bash beauty products but to point out how they do not make beauty.